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Jingle bells and job stats: a festive blend of Christmas jokes and statistics

Written by Alex Lamont | 11-Dec-2023 08:45:00

As the holiday season rolls in, it’s the perfect time to merge the merriment of Christmas with the more serious world of UK recruitment. Every year we post our 12 days of recruitment stats and Christmas jokes on our socials, and we want to make sure our readers don't miss out.

Let's take a sleigh ride through 20 Christmas jokes, each paired with an insightful UK recruitment statistic, for a festive yet informative journey.

1. Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? Because of his low "elf" esteem!

Just like our elf, 85% of UK employers believe soft skills are increasingly important in the workplace, a key insight from our applicant tracking system (Source: CIPD).

2. What do you call a broke Santa? Saint Nickel-less!

In the recruitment world, 92% of UK companies use social media for recruitment, saving costs in finding the right candidate (Source: Recruitment & Employment Confederation).

3. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Ice Krispies!

Similarly, 78% of UK recruiters say their biggest challenge is finding candidates with the right skills, a task as unique as a snowman's diet (Source: Glassdoor).

4. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan, crisp and even!

In job descriptions, 67% of job seekers prefer them to be clear and concise, much like the king’s pizza preference (Source: Indeed).

5. What’s green, covered in tinsel and says 'ribbet ribbet?' A mistle-toad!

On a related note, 43% of UK employees would like a more festive atmosphere at work, showing the importance of workplace environment (Source: Monster.co.uk).

6. Why was the turkey in the pop group? Because it was the only one with drumsticks!

In job advertising, over 50% of UK adverts now offer flexible working options, hitting the right note with candidates (Source: Timewise).

7. What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!

Reflecting this, our ATS shows that personalised communication is crucial in attracting top talent.

8. What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!

Just like Santa's unique choice, 30% of UK businesses report a lack of diversity in their applicants, highlighting the need for more inclusive recruitment strategies (Source: Business in the Community). I know, these are getting tenuous at best!

9. What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you!

Echoing new beginnings, 60% of UK workers consider changing jobs for better career opportunities (Source: Totaljobs).

10. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim!

Similarly, 55% of UK job descriptions are now more concise, aiming to be more attractive to candidates (Source: LinkedIn).

11. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time? Sandy Claus!

Interestingly, 70% of UK employers find it challenging to find the right talent, much like finding a cat in the sand (Source: ManpowerGroup).

12. What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?

40% of UK companies are actively seeking passive candidates, those not actively looking but open to opportunities (Source: Hays).

13. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitis!

In terms of workplace health, 58% of UK employees say wellbeing support is a key factor in choosing an employer (Source: Robert Half).

14. Why are Christmas trees bad at sewing? They always drop their needles!

In contrast, 65% of UK employers are focusing on employee retention strategies, ensuring they don’t lose their best... 'needles...' (Source: Hay Group).

15. What’s a sheep’s favourite Christmas song? Fleece Navidad!

Reflecting preferences, 75% of UK workers would rather have a Christmas bonus than a party, showing the appeal of financial incentives (Source: CV-Library).

16. What did Adam say on December 24th? It’s Christmas, Eve!

In recruitment, 83% of UK job seekers value a quick and efficient process, mirroring Adam’s timely realisation (Source: Reed.co.uk).

17. What do you call Santa living at the South Pole? A lost-Clause!

In the job market, 25% of UK employees feel their talents are misplaced in their current role, similar to Santa being away from the North Pole (Source: ACAS).

18. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? He was feeling crumbly!

In the workplace, 30% of UK workers report feeling burned out, highlighting the need for better work-life balance (Source: Mental Health Foundation).

19. What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when the fire is lit? Krisp Kringle!

On a related safety note, 40% of UK businesses have increased their focus on workplace health and safety protocols (Source: Health and Safety Executive).

20. What’s the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum – you just can’t beat it!

In job satisfaction, 68% of UK employees feel that being valued at work is the best 'present' an employer can give (Source: YouGov).

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As we celebrate the festive season, let’s not forget the important role that recruitment plays in shaping our professional lives. These jokes and statistics offer a unique perspective on the trends and challenges in the UK job market. Happy holidays and here’s to a prosperous new year in the world of recruitment!